


never let strangers shape shift in front of you, children

by serenfire



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: An attempt at crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 20:01:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1954395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenfire/pseuds/serenfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“That’s —” Fitz began as the dust settled.</p><p>“Unexpected,” Simmons finished.</p><p>Skye, from her perch behind the overturned lab table, peeked over the top. “What is it?”</p><p>“It’s a kitten!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	never let strangers shape shift in front of you, children

**Author's Note:**

> for fitzsimmons week summer edition day two - unexpected
> 
> @anyone I know irl: do not read thanks

“That’s —” Fitz began as the dust settled. 

“Unexpected,” Simmons finished. 

Skye, from her perch behind the overturned lab table, peeked over the top. “What is it?” 

“It’s a kitten!” 

Simmons waved her work gloves through the settling air, and scooped up the young tabby cat. It purred, curling into her arms, and Simmons smiled broadly. “Fitz, I think it _likes_ me!” 

“It’s a pan dimensional transfer from an alternate universe, Jemma. It doesn’t _like you_.” 

“I think it fell asleep.” Simmons moved her arms in what most mothers of infants would call a soothing manner, but in this case was because she was stepping over littered debris. 

Skye resumed hiding behind the lab table, loudly announcing, “I DON’T want it near me! I could get a vortex disease! I’ve read about those on the Internet.” 

“We should run tests,” Fitz grinned. “Many, many tests. I’ll draw blood now, while it’s sleeping. Er — how much can we draw without killing it?” 

Simmons kicked him, as she was unable to backhand him. “Just take a syringe full! He’s a _cat_ , not an alien.” 

“Oh, it’s ‘he’ now, is it?” grumbled Fitz, searching for a sanitized syringe. 

“It’s an alien!” Skye shouted, shaking her Samsung over the top of the table to let the scientists know She Meant Business. 

“He’s a _cat_!” Simmons repeated, scowling at Fitz as he drew blood from the cat’s bum. It wrinkled its nose, but slept on. “I think I’ll name him Marvin.” 

“Douglas Adams’s depressed android?” Fitz rolled his eyes from his position against the microscope, and the effect was lost on everyone, because no one could see him roll his eyes. “ _Figures_.” 

Ward opened the lab doors, wincing at the smoke. “May wants to know what all the noise is.” 

Fitz glanced at his watch. “It’s 3am, Ward. How —” 

The specialist was dressed in sweatpants and a crumpled Backstreet Boys shirt. 

“ _Oh_. Um.” 

“Alien invasion!” hollered Skye, waving her Samsung like a beacon. “Tell Coulson there’s been an alien invasion from another dimension!” 

“HIS NAME IS MARVIN!” Simmons roared. 

“Oh, look,” said Fitz, backing away from the microscope. “It’s a shapeshifter.” 

Ward tilted his head to the side. “How can you tell?” 

“I can always _tell_ ,” Fitz grumbled. “Jemma, you have to put him down.” 

“How _can_ you tell?” Simmons asked, shielding sleeping Marvin from the evil engineer’s clutches. 

Fitz sighed. “His molecules are changing, Jemma. His — her? Its?” 

“Their,” Ward supplied the gender neutral term with a sigh. 

“Thank you. _Their_ molecules suggest an innate regular changing — meaning people, or cats, from this alternate universe shape shift naturally, on some kind of schedule. Put them down, Jemma. This might get ugly.” 

Simmons, resigned, dutifully put Marvin down on the floor. As soon as their paws touched the ground, they gave a tremendous yelp and scurried off. 

“Hey!” Simmons shouted, outraged. 

“AHHHH!” Skye screamed, vaulting over the table, face pale. Seeing the three curious and shocked faces aimed at her, she explained, “It touched me.” 

“I’m going back to bed,” Ward announced. 

“With _May_ ,” teased Fitz, before the kitten landed on his face. 

“Where _did_ they come from?” wondered Ward, searching the rafters. 

As Fitz screeched and pulled Marvin off of him, the cat grew in size, ballooning outward. The four agents backed to the edge of the lab, squished against the doors, Fitz holding onto Simmons for dear life. 

The cat was the size of a large bulbous object when they stopped growing, and then rapidly changed directions and shrunk down, morphing into a young androgynous humanoid. 

“I’m terribly sorry,” Marvin began to say, then hacked out hairballs. “ _Terribly sorry_. I didn’t mean to push Papa’s big red button, but I fell asleep and it kind of … happened.” 

“Dear lord, they’re a child,” Ward stated. 

“Oh!” the child perked up. “My name’s not Marvin. It’s Grant Ward.” 

“Dear _lord_ ,” Ward stated again, turning to run out of the lab, presumably to the minibar. “It’s _me_.” 

Skye waved her Samsung at him, like “See what I mean?” or “Well, what can you do?” 


End file.
